Every year, Big Brothers Big Sisters recognizes those outstanding volunteers who have gone above and beyond as mentors. The Bigs and Littles of the Year winners are announced on Thank Your Mentor Day, part of National Mentoring Month.
Megan McCann and Marlee who have been matched for the last five (5) years. Megan has demonstrated a true dedication to her Little Sister, Marlee, guiding her through some of life’s most difficult challenges.
Justin Moran and Ethan have been matched for over nine (9) years. Justin has consistently gone above and beyond for his Little Brother, Ethan, showing a true commitment to their relationship and helping him grow into a confident and successful young man.
These are their remarkable stories.
Megan McCann and Marlee
Matched since 2017
Marlee, the middle child of five siblings, had a difficult home life. By the age of eight when she came to Big Brothers Big Sisters, she had witnessed abuse, the incarceration of both her parents, and eventually the death of her father and deportation of her mother. She and her siblings were placed in her grandmother’s custody, who, on the recommendation of her social worker, enrolled Marlee in Big Brothers Big Sisters. hoping that Marlee would find a stable role model and trusted friend who could –as Marlee now recalls– “get her out of her shell”.
Megan signed up to volunteer as a Big Sister after she graduated college and had moved back home to the Inland Empire. She reasoned, “part of my degree was in social justice, and it made me want to be involved with my community. I always wished I had someone a little older than me who I could talk to, and get advice, so yeah, I signed up and it was the best decision I ever made.”
The match was perfect! “When we met…we clicked quickly. We’re so similar in a lot of ways. We have a lot of the same interests, same quirks” Megan recounts. “Like me, at first [Marlee] was shy, but once we got to know each other, you couldn’t get us to shut up” (they both giggle as she says this).
Everything was progressing well. Both Big and Little were getting to know each other and enjoying their outings together. But all that was about to change.
One day, their Match Support Specialist received a call from Marlee informing the agency that her grandmother had passed away and she –and her siblings– had been placed in foster care.
Separated from her siblings and placed with a foster family an hour away from everything and everyone she knew, Marlee began to struggle with depression and suicidal ideation. But Megan was there for her every step of the way. Often driving to Wildomar to go on outings, texting and talking on the phone, and “journaling” to one another while they were apart. These seemingly small efforts made a huge difference for Marlee, reminding her that no matter how dark life seemed, she could count on her Big Sister to be there for her.
“I’ll be involved in Marlee’s life as long as she wants me to be.” Megan said, adding “I know she’s gone through a lot, and is going through a lot, and it’s those times that I want to be there for her.”
Marlee agreed, saying “I feel there has been a lot that’s gone on that is really difficult to talk about. At first it was hard for me to talk to anyone about stuff like that, but with [Megan] it has been a little bit easier.”
Megan continued, “we, for sure, have seen each other cry a couple times” (they both giggle knowingly).
Six months later, Marlee was placed with her uncle, Randy, who with Megan’s help, kept Marlee in our program. When asked about his reasons for coming back, he said, “Marlee has told me all about Megan. I can’t take that away from her. I met Megan and she is who I want Marlee to see as her role model.”
Megan was–unsurprisingly–ready to pick up where they left off. “All I care about when it comes to Marlee is what is best for her and what she wants” she said. “It’s important to have people in your life who can listen…to be completely unbiased…I’d like to think I can be that person for Marlee…and also to just have fun!”
Today, Marlee is excelling academically and is excited about what her future holds. She is making friends and getting out of her comfort zone by trying out for her school’s volleyball team.
Marlee, with a maturity that far surpasses her age (13) and a joy that transcends her circumstances added “I have learned to communicate more. I’ve always been the kind of person that doesn’t naturally advocate for myself, and [Megan] has taught me to speak up for what I need, what I want.”
These are powerful words that speak to the impact of mentoring. Yet, while we celebrate and are inspired by this remarkable story, the key to the success of mentorship is surprisingly simple.
What does it take to be a great mentor? Megan summed it up best:
“I would tell other people who want to become Bigs, that it’s okay to be imperfect. I was so worried about messing up in the beginning. About doing the wrong thing. Picking out something that she didn’t like. But what you realize is that you’re both just people…and truly, just showing up, just showing up and being consistent is the biggest part of it. And it goes both ways,” she pauses to take in the profound statement adding “the fact is, Marlee is one of the only people who has been in my life over the last five and a half years, and I’m so grateful for her.”
Justin MoRan and Ethan
Matched since 2013
Mentoring is a powerful model that can change lives, and that is certainly true of our next Bigs and Littles of the Year winners, Justin Moran and his Little, Ethan.
Justin has been a mentor for over nine (9) years with Big Brothers Big Sisters and has been a shining example of the difference a mentor can make in the life of a child.
His mentee, Ethan, came to Big Brothers Big Sisters from a difficult background. His parents had a history of substance abuse, which eventually led Ethan to be placed in foster care. It was this pivotal moment that changed the course of Ethan’s life as his foster mother enrolled him as a Little at the age of five (almost six), and a few short weeks later, five-year-old Ethan was matched with twenty-six-year-old Justin.
“Thinking back to the first time we met” said Ethan “it was pretty weird at first, here was a random dude and we were going to hang out, but I remember we went to an arcade and that was fun, so we went on another outing, and here we are, nine years later.”
“I’m surprised you remember that” added Justin “For me, it was a very vulnerable experience. You don’t know how the other person will receive you, and he was very quiet at that age, so it took a bit to know that what I was doing was making an impact”
Justin took the time to build a strong relationship with Ethan and helped him to discover his potential. He encouraged Ethan to set goals for himself and helped him to develop the skills and confidence he needed to achieve them, from tracking fitness goals to keeping a 4.0 GPA at school. As the “most influential male role model” in Ethan’s life, Justin has helped Ethan navigate the challenges of growing up, always providing him with a safe space to talk about the difficult things in his life.
Remarking on what mentorship means, Ethan said, “I have someone to look up to, to ask questions, whether that’s just basic information or something more serious. I can be serious with Justin because I can trust him”
From his vantage point, Justin added, “what makes the mentorship relationship special is that there’s a greater sense of responsibility. [Ethan] looks up to me, I want to be that person for him, looking out for him”
Despite the many obstacles Ethan faced, Justin never gave up on him. He consistently showed up for Ethan, no matter what. He was there to celebrate Ethan’s successes, to help him through the tough times, and they had a lot of fun in the process.
“You got to just be there!” Justin said with conviction, adding “because the small things add up to big things. Nine years is a lot of time to really make an impact in the life of someone who needs you; you just need to keep showing up.”
Thanks to Justin’s mentorship, Ethan developed a greater sense of self-worth and is a confident, articulate seventeen-year-old. He is a young man with a bright future ahead of him, and it is, in large part, thanks to the guidance and support of his mentor.
When asked what the greatest lesson that Justin has taught him, Ethan was quick to say “honestly, respecting others! Even strangers. Looking back at the last nine years, Justin has always been respectful of other people, even if they are in the wrong. Other adults in my life don’t have nearly the same patience that Justin does.”
The future is bright, holding countless opportunities for both Justin and Ethan. Both were confident they would support each other no matter what came their way. As Ethan eloquently put it: “I don’t think we’re ever going to stop being friends and in the coming years, I’ll still have someone who I can look up to and I can rely on if I need to. Even if I go to college, move out of state, we’re always going to be friends.”
We are incredibly grateful to Justin for the impact he has had on Ethan’s life. He is a shining example of the difference one person can make in the life of a child. We are honored to recognize these two as our Bigs and Littles of the Year, and we thank Justin for his unwavering commitment to mentoring and for making a positive impact on the life of a youth in our community.
To take the first step to becoming a Big, visit iebigs.org.volunteer.